Strawberry Fields for Breakfast

So, for each avocado, about this much sauce- I know it says 1/2 teaspoon, but this is the kind of spoon we use, and it’s just on the edge…

Just in time for some sort of big game that may or may not be happening this weekend, the Associated Press put out a food feature on guacamole. They suggest adding bacon and brown sugar. Seriously? A 12 ounce jar of roasted red peppers? Bleah.
DH has developed the sine qua non (wait, is that what I mean? something Latin, anyway) of Guacamole. He invested many years of experimentation into it, and every batch has been worth it. I say that as his primary taste tester. When he dared to show up at a New Year’s Eve party without a bowl of his signature guac, he was sent home. I was like- “look, I made homemade marshmallows?” No, not enough. DH went home and returned later with a bowl that was gobbled up immediately.
We can eat guac guilt-free around here, because even though it is high fat, Kate doesn’t like it, so we don’t have to worry much about her pancreas. Or her puppy eyes- whenever she catches me having something she wishes she could have, she looks unutterably sad….
So, I will share with the world (well, the world of my little corner of the interwebs) the recipe so that you won’t have to use any weirdo AP recipes. Seriously, they want you to add mango?

The secret ingredient is rooster sauce. Also known as Sriracha, which is chile puree found in the Asian section of your grocery. Get the kind with chilies and garlic. DH has been know to play Johnny Appleseed with rooster sauce, bringing guacamole ingredients to the homes of friends and relatives, making a batch of guac and leaving the jar of sriracha there.
This is a proportional recipe- you can expand as much as you like, but you can’t contract it much beyond 1 avocado- I guess you could make it with half an avocado, but then you have a half of an avocado left that you know would be better as guacamole.
1 ripe avocado
1/2 teaspoon chili garlic paste
1 teaspoon lime juice (bottled is fine, unless you have limes lying around)
1 tablespoon of chopped purple onion
Mash avocado in a bowl,add remaining ingredients. Taste test. Remember, you can add more lime,chili and onion, but you can’t really take it away. It should taste balanced. You should feel blissful.

I realize that there may be people who are unfamiliar with guacamole- it is a puree of avocado, used as a topping on tacos or other Mexican dishes, or as a dip eaten with corn chips.